The Power of Forgiveness

When I began blogging over two years ago I wrote under the psuedonymn of Sissy on my blog The Whippoorwill Chronicles. (Now don’t go trying to Google it. You won’t find it. I deleted it.) I did however print off every post I ever wrote.

It saddens me at times to read what I wrote back then. I had buried so much anger deep inside my heart that I was uncertain if I could ever excavate it. My anger had turned to bitterness and that bitterness had taken root. It was poisoning me. Not only on the inside but it was leaking out into my relationships on the outside.

I like what my favorite author, Joel Osteen, writes in his book Your Best Life Now. The following is an excerpt from Chapter 18:Don’t Let Bitterness Take Root.

“Many people attempt to bury the hurt and pain deep in their hearts or in their subconscious minds. They harbor unforgiveness and resentment, and then they wonder why they can’t really live in victory, why they can’t get along with other people, why they can’t be happy. They don’t realize it, but it’s because their own hearts are poisoned. the Bible says, “Out of the heart flow the issues of life.” In other words, if we have bitterness on the inside, it’s going to end up contaminating everything that comes out of us. It will contaminate our personalities and our attitudes, as well as how we treat other people.

A lot of people are trying to improve their lives by dealing with the external fruit. They are attempting to rectify their bad habits, bad attitudes, bad tempers, or negative and sour personalities. They’re dealing with the fruit of their lives, trying to change those things, and that is noble. But the truth is, unless they get to the root, they will never be able to change the fruit. Because as long as that bitter root is growing on the inside, that problem will persis and keep popping up time and again. You may be able to control your behavior for a while or keep a good attitude for a short period of time, but have you ever wondered why you can’t really get free? Why you can’t overcome that destructive habit?

You have to go deeper. You must discover why you are so angry, why you can’t get along with other people, why you are always so negative. If you’ll look deeply and get to the root, then you’ll be able to deal with the problem, overcome it, and truly begin to change.”

Through extensive therapy I was able to get to the root of my anger. However, I soon discovered that this knowledge would not be enough to set me free. I learned that unless I forgave those that hurt me, I would continue to allow the pains of my past to poison my future.

Joel continues writing in Chapter 18 about letting go of the past and the act of forgiveness:

“When we hold on to poison from the past, we’re only hurting ourselves. We’re not hurting anybody else. We need to forgive so we can be free. Forgive so you can be made whole.

…..We have to remember, when we forgive we’re not doing it just for the other person, we’re doing it for our own good. When we hold on to unforgiveness and we live with grudges in our hearts, all we’re doing is building walls of separation. We think we’re protecting ourselves, but we’re not. We are simply shutting other people out of our lives. We become isolated, alone, warped and imprisoned by our own bitterness. Those walls aren’t merely keeping people out; those walls are keeping you penned in.”

There are no easy answers on how to find the path to forgiveness. We each must find it in our own way. For me, it was listening for God to direct my path. One evening I found my hurt so excruciating that it was making me physically ill. I had to do something or unforgiveness was going to kill me. It was at that moment, at the bottom of the pit, that God reached down and put me in my car and drove me to my parents’ home. Although my visit with them that evening did not change their relationship with me, it did change my relationship with them. God spoke to me and said, ‘forgive them, they know not what they do…and there is nothing more that you can do’. And that was that.

Again, we each must find our own way towards forgiveness. Mine started with the suggestion from my therapist to start writing it all down (hence The Whippoorwill Chronicles) and ended with God leading me to forgive those that hurt me. Thus, setting me free to live my life as God had intended.

I’d like to share a few articles with you that I recently received in an About.com newsletter:

• The Benefits of Forgiveness
• How To Forgive: Five Stategies
• What Does the Bible Say About Forgiveness

Every once in awhile you will find me updating some of the posts from The Whippoorwill Chronicles. The most recent updates can be viewed here.

Don’t forget, if there is a question that you would like to have answered or a topic you would like to have discussed, be sure to email me at dbeverlyhills@gmail.com. All questions will remain anonymous. All answers will be sprinkled with my perspective.