Self doubt has plagued me for most of my life. Although there are a variety of factors that have played into my insecurities and low self confidence level, as an adult I feel as though I should be able to say ‘enough is enough’. On my good days I have the strength to say this and move beyond the limitations of my doubts. On my ‘bad’ days I fall into a pit and have to rely on the following instructions reminders of how to move up and beyond the pit of self doubt.
- I make a list of the fears and how they are affecting my life and preventing me from being the best God wants me to be.
- I write down the negative messages that the voices in my head keep telling me as I dwell in the pit of self-doubt.
- I make a list of my friends that are toxic and are feeding into my self doubts and insecurities.
- I make a list of all the strengths and abilities that God has equipped me with. If I can’t remember them I ask a trusted friend.
- I write down ten affirming statements (I am smart. I am beautiful. I am capable.) on sticky notes and I place them on all the mirrors in the house and on the rear view mirror in my car.
- I set about making new friends that are encouraging and supportive to replace the ones that are toxic.
- I tear up the lists mentioned in 1-3 and burn them in the fire pit out back.
Don’t forget, if there is a question that you would like to have answered or a topic you would like to have discussed, be sure to email me at dbeverlyhills@gmail.com. All questions will remain anonymous. All answers will be sprinkled with my perspective.
Filed under: got MH | Tagged: self improvement
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Great stuff, thanks.
Danielle Says: Thanks for the kind words.
toxic friends… hehe, how about toxic family? how do you deal with that?
Danielle Says: Check out my post for Saturday April 12, 2008.
Toxic friends concept is interesting. If a person is full of self doubt, they probably tend to end up with friends who aren’t really friends, people who use them. It’s difficult to make new friends, especially when you are full of self doubt. How can you end up with healthy friends who will be good for you? Thanks for the topic.
Danielle Says: It’s always good to hear from you Barb! I think I may do a topic on friendship and how to find and maintain them as adults.
Toxic friends concept is interesting. If a person is full of self doubt, they probably tend to end up with friends who aren’t really friends, people who use them. It’s difficult to make new friends, especially when you are full of self doubt. How can you end up with healthy friends who will be good for you? Thanks for the topic.
That is so so true…toxic friends only end up making one feel a lot worse and even like we should be in debt to themiin some form of perpetural obligation and become a form of emotional bondage to growth.
A true friend doesn’t seek to drag a friend down but to lift them up no matter what the circumstances and be there no matter what. A false friend is quick to say that we make them treat us bad. Uhm..nope. I don’t think so.
Danielle Says: Thanks for the great insight Twinkle Mom!! I agree with the old saying ‘we become who we surround ourselves with’. Amen!
[...] protect myself against their toxicity or push the envelope to see how far I have recovered? In a recent post about self doubt I referred to ‘toxic friends’. Since that time I have received many inquiries about [...]
[...] I’m over here today. [...]