Supporting Someone With A Mental Health Disorder

Every week I receive two or three emails from individuals who are living with or know someone who has mental health difficulties. Each story is unique. Each story is the same. Living with or knowing someone who has a mental health disorder is no easy task.

Many mental health disorders are chronic and result in a lifelong illness. It never goes away. However, with appropriate treatments (medication in conjunction with expert therapy) and the educated and informed support of family, friends, employers and co-workers it can be managed (as long as the individual with the mental health disorder commits and participates in his or her wellness plan).

The following are provided as suggestions to families and friends to help support your loved one who has a mental health disorder. These suggestions will enable you to not only manage your response to someone with a mental illness in a positive manner but aid in the ability of your loved one to self-manage as much as possible his/her illness.

• Educate yourself. Just as you would with any diagnosis, it is imperative that you and/or family members and the individual who has a mental health diagnosis be educated about the illness. This includes learning about the appropriate drugs for the illness that has been diagnosed. You should know about dosages, possible side effects, and what to do. Read all you can about the mental health disorder from reliable sources. As you gain an understanding of the various behaviors that occur as a result of having the disorder, you are less likely to be blind sided by them.This places you in a position to respond effectively to the illness.
• Find the right doctor. Become your loved one’s advocate. Before going to the doctor make sure that you and your loved one put together a comprehensive list of questions and concerns. Make sure that you get a psychiatrist and other health providers who will take the time to listen closely to both you and your loved one. Always be sure to get second opinions if necessary.
• Know the triggers. As you begin to understand the underlying causes of this illness you will be able to recognize the warning signals that may trigger an episode in your loved one. Coldly assess what your loved one can and cannot handle. Some people with mental illness cannot handle money, some household chores, time commitments, etc.
• Write a crisis plan. When your loved one’s mood is stable, agree on a plan to limit damage during mood swings. Be prepared to act before the symptoms worsen and your loved one begins to spiral out of control. Compensate assertively for the things that your loved one is unable to handle. Have a list of symptoms of mania, depression , and suicide risk available with suggestions about what to do. Keep a list of helpful phone numbers easily accessible, including health care providers, family friends, and a suicide prevention crisis line. Be sure to give this plan/list to family members and friends.
• Create a Safe Environment. It is important that you create a safe environment where your loved one is able to express his or her frustrations and anxiety about living with a mental health disorder.
• Communication. It is essential to work hard at keeping communication lines open.
• Maintain your own identity. “It is imperative that you realize that your life doesn’t stop to revolve around your ill loved one. Take care of your own health and your own needs”. (Healthy Place) Resist becoming consumed with your loved one’s illness.
• Hard truths.. You cannot fix what is wrong with your loved one. It is not your fault. Your loved one must recognize and accept the fact of having a mental health disorder. There is no ‘cure’ for mental health disorders. However, if your loved one refuses to recognize and/or accept their illness, are unwilling to receive treatment and learn to manage their illness there is nothing more you can do. You must establish limits to the support that you and other family members and friends are willing to give. These limits must be enforced without feelings of guilt.

Next Week: How to understand and help when the family member or friend wants to stop taking their medication.

Don’t forget, if there is a question that you would like to have answered or a topic you would like to have discussed, be sure to email me at dbeverlyhills@gmail.com. All questions will remain anonymous. All answers will be sprinkled with my perspective.